Love yourself as your neighbor.

In the documentary “Heal” (Portuguese “Cura”) on Amazon Prime, there is a bad testimony from Anita Moorjani, who in February 2006 reached the end of the four-year fight against cancer. . His family was called to say goodbye, and eventually his body collapsed, a drug called Multiple Organ Failure.

Anita then has an experience that corresponds to what is called a near-death experience (I really do not like the word, but it is made up of usage). Feeling distant from her physical and earthly experiences, Anita felt a sense of expansion and fell in love indefinitely when she discovered her stepfather with whom she had an unhappy relationship. Since she came. Teens ..

Somehow she has spent her whole life feeling like she has made him fall, which is important in all families, but especially so in families of Hindu descent. Despite all this painful relationship, all she could feel was unconditional and unconditional love for her father. There was no more pain or frustration between them. In one obvious situation, she understood why she was so sick: every decision and choice in her life had to be made. Made with fear. In this situation, he realized that if he chose to go back to his life, he could relate to the cause of his illness. Anita found herself awake in the ICU and a few weeks later found that the tumor that had penetrated her entire body had disappeared and her strength returned until she was discharged and recovered. Completely healed.

There are many studies on these cases that are included in medicine as a spontaneous relief since calling it a miracle will not go down much. What happens in these cases where the ability of the human body to repair itself manifests itself in a random and obvious way?

Anita, as the author of the documentary, has undergone a radical change in function from fear to romance. Under certain circumstances, she realized that years of self-deprecation and self-harm had become a disease, and since then she had made an internal contract not to hurt herself again, never to be kind and self-loving. No one else. Who was around her. Is Anita a perfect example of someone gaining self-confidence? In my opinion, she overcame a tremendous capacity for love as she gave up all her negativity, which we can say: self-torture, self-judgment and cruel self-criticism. He was kind to himself and to others.

Self-confidence on our planet is the power of unhappiness. The emphasis in recent decades on creating people with good self-esteem has had the opposite effect. Because? Shouldn’t people have good self-esteem? The above cases clearly show that a lack of love and self-care can lead to There is a serious illness. But there is a profound difference between self-esteem and self-pity.

Self-confidence is often based on the ideals we plan for in our lives. People I want to be an achievement to achieve a dream that will come true. Here are some of its irreparable disadvantages: It is always conditional and depends on future predictions. Women and men adhere to their self-esteem in the ability to desire / admire. With body beauty, with a big car, with photos on social media that show a perfect life and self-esteem. You do not have to be a great healer to know that it ends in the end. The ego is the demanding and insatiable master who destroys life and the ecosystem. He always wanted more, and he never gave a good score to our efforts.

Loving your neighbor as yourself is always two ways for me. It does not mean loving others too much or agreeing with others that I have to lose myself from someone and what that means for me. It does not mean comparing myself to creating competition by imagining who is more attractive, who is richer, or who has the highest self-esteem. Loving your neighbor as yourself means that love for others is in direct contact with our ability to love ourselves with our true faults and our imaginations and our wounds. Anita knew that the infinite love she had for her father might have been so boring that life gave her the same proportions that she managed to love and accept his life and his secret place in it. . Unfortunately, it is necessary for many people to experience the limits and closeness of illness and death in order to be able to jump from a life ruled by fear and pain into accepting the first love later. .

This can be practical. Start by treating yourself with kindness and compassion rather than demanding it from others. Love yourself as a neighbor.

* Marco Antonio Spinelli is a Doctor of Psychiatry from the University of S ប៉ូo Paulo, a Jungian-guided psychiatrist and author of “Stress, Alice’s Rabbit is always in a hurry”.

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