In the Middle Ages, the love affair between a British horseman who hunted dragons and an Irish princess imprisoned in a castle captivated all Europeans. The legends of Tristan and Isolde shook society by tackling passion – with a tragic end – in a time of marriage driven by political interests where the only possible sacrifice was to God. There is a new concept, romantic love that is spreading as the world turns. Marriage nurtured by pure and true feelings will come together with the formation of a family core, as we know it (parents And children) two centuries ago. Many emotions are mixed with literature, theater, film and advertising, making the idea spread on a global scale. But the wheel of change does not stop, and behold, the new generation, who value their individuality unlike any other, no longer seeks a better half that satisfies them, but communicates freely and flexibly. Is unlimited while they last a long time. Psychologist Regina Navarro Lins, author of the book Novas Formas de Amar, says: “The combination of the soul, which describes two people as one, is unreasonable for many young people today.”
The powerful toothbrush project in the distant past is no longer at the top of the priority list for young people, at a stage of life before marriage. . A survey by Vice’s research team looked at the phenomenon among people between the ages of 20 and 40 in the United States and the United Kingdom: only one in ten respondents had a serious relationship. Many prefer singleness. Want to be like that. According to another study conducted by Ashley Madison, one of the world’s largest dating sites, for 55%, walking down the aisle is not a thought. The old pillar is also shaking in Brazil, where by 2020 the number of marriages will have dropped by 26%, according to the IBGE. People who exchange rings have been spending less time with them on their fingers – the average length of marriage in the country has dropped from seventeen to thirteen years in a decade. At 27, public announcer Lucas Villela has never actually dated and has no intention of getting engaged any time soon, which is far from rare in his group of friends. “I’m very happy to be single,” he says, confident.
Not that candles, bouquets and a trip for two are erased from the love map. And, of course, the reunion may turn out to be something that lasts longer. The difference is that this is no longer a goal in itself, the ancient paradigm of sharing every aspect of existence with someone is also shaken. The seeds of this powerful concept in the young minds of the 21st century can be traced back to the 1960s with the advent of supplements and the revolution that caused radical reflections on unique and traditional formulas. Of romantic relationships, some of which then broke up. In the 1990s, British sociologist Anthony Giddens pointed to a deeper movement, which he called the “transformation of intimacy,” the title of one of his books. Many types of arrangements fit in there, including open and non-exclusive relationships. The concept of finitude is another concept that exists without weight before. “I want to live a strong relationship and feel free to choose what is best for me. It does not have to be forever, ”said 26-year-old marketing expert Ana Luisa Lopes.
It was in the twelfth century that the spirit of love gained momentum in the voices of musicians from the south of France, who sang sweet poems in honor of their beloved women. And this movement spread throughout Europe. For if there is a lot of social building in the mind of the soul mate, the act of falling in love is in the human condition. Science has already solved the process by which the brain receives hormones that flow in whenever it is interested in someone. One was announced. Cortisol, which is linked to stress, can cause tachycardia and sweating, while oxytocin, which is responsible for binding sensations, works like Cupid’s arrow. The dopamine-induced neural connections are also stronger, making the goal of desire not to leave the mind. “Love acts on the reward system and activates the same mechanism that drives us to find food and water when we are hungry or thirsty,” explains neurologist Lucy Brown of the Albert Einstein College of Medicine in New York City. But she remembers that although such effects can be persistent and frequent, they do not prevent them from appearing by others at the same time, without the flames that need to be extinguished by the first person. . It is human nature that the new generation accepts more clearly and freely.
An important point of today’s young people is not to give space to the insignificance of daily life when habits determine by nature. “Time brings pros and cons, and imagination fades away, making it difficult to live together,” says Dr. Carmita Abdo of USP. This brings about different levels of boredom and feelings of paralysis. It is clear that this revelation, which the growing group no longer sees as an inevitable fate, feels free to touch the wound, request a reorganization, or leave the relationship. During the epidemic, Ana Carolina Matt, a 23-year-old psychology student, found herself stuck in her daily life with her boyfriend in Bahia. Then came the revolution. She broke up with him and returned to Rio, where she transferred her college. “It seems like part of me is back,” he said. He did not give up the idea of love, but he reiterated the booklet, which most people of his age group claim: different loves fit different stages of life, and sometimes alone. Invaluable.
In Pure modernityPolish sociologist Zygmunt Bauman called the pre-21st century attention to the loosening of the fluid link that people have begun to maintain in all areas: work, housework, communication. Young people today have given this phenomenon a daunting job of painting a long period of stability and seeking constant change. “I do not want to be with anyone anytime soon, I enjoy my friends and myself,” said Láyra Sthefany, a 23-year-old administrative assistant who has been married for seven years. His generation was pragmatic and was not given ideal relationships. For this crowd, the end of romantic love can be like – or rather – happy.
Published in VEJA, February 16, 2022, No. 2776