Why is the relationship different from before? Where does the fear of surrender to the love we see today come from? Does love melt?
It is not uncommon to see people ask themselves such questions, and sociologist and philosopher Zygmunt Bauman (1925-2017) was one of the contemporary writers seeking an explanation for such a problem in our society.
His work is about capitalism, education, political identity, love, etc. In the book “Amor Líquido” he tried to understand the influence and fragility of human relationships today. We live in a world of unprecedented uncertainty, extreme insecurity for everything. This book brings up the idea that relationships are just interconnected and not further relationships.
The author, based on his analysis of relationships on social networking sites, knows that there is a good way to forget others to break up. The focus has shifted and quality is no longer a requirement but in the number of followers, the number of friends and as a result the quality of communication is declining.
For Bauman, the difficulty in dealing with the other party is the lack of the necessary tools to start a relationship. The new way of communicating is the opposite of the old way, and the skills with the former reduce the capacity with the latter.
Communication through social media has replaced most singles who go to bars to find a partner, but there are a few who are still diligent and do not know how to communicate in such an environment. Extreme levels of insecurity and uncertainty are also linked to the inability to love one’s neighbor. In connection with the increasing number of diagnoses of depression and panic disorder, Bauman returns to the concept to define it by focusing first on self-love.
The author says that self-love is the result of love. When the subject realizes that his voice is heard, that his thoughts are important, or that his presence will be felt, he understands that he deserves love. Only others can say that if we are worthy of love, all we do is recognize the rating. This.
We love ourselves when our ego identifies with others and in this way we love ourselves worthy of love and we love others who identify. It is in this relationship that Bauman says that “loving your neighbor as you love yourself” is the highest moral find.
Most of us think of love as being in a relationship with someone or something outside of us. Probably a factor as to why they’re doing so poorly. The fact is that we love each other on condition. Therefore, the strength of our love is in exchange. I give, then I receive. If I accept, I will give. Sometimes we just give, but as a rule, we expect some response.
The love we sacrifice for ourselves goes beyond what sets the standard for society. So loving yourself is unconditional love. In himself he loves himself with all good and all evil. With all its flaws and difficulties.
The importance of reading a book lies in the destruction of this new virtual reality and the continuation of our internal and external relationships. Work experience is crucial for understanding how relationships work and how we treat ourselves and how to reflect on them for others. We are the “mirror” of our relationship, tending to follow production, marketing, making everything artificial and ambiguous. The author says that current relationships are traded like broken things that are easier for me to change than Repairs.
References. BAUMAN, Z. Liquid love: On the fragility of human relationships. Rio de Janeiro: Zahar, 2004.
My name is Vivian Cury. I am a systems psychologist and I work in communication and family matters in a clinical context. I help many women rebuild their marriages and improve their family life through direct and online psychotherapy and cognitive training for all of Brazil. Contact us for more information at (14) 99656-3824 (Whatsapp) and follow the content on instagram @vivian_cury.
Article by Vivian Cury Lunardi
CRP System Psychologist 06/174773
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